Pixel, Our 18-Year-Old Child

Adopting each and every one of our feline and canine friends brought us great joy. Pictured above is Pixel, a cat we adopted in 1990 before we were married or had our human kids. She was standoffish in her early years, but later chose Wayne as her person. She'd sleep with him every night. Wayne would hug her much like a child would hug his teddy bear. In tribute, he coined the term "teddy catting".

While our four-legged family members give us great joy and companionship, the time inevitably comes when they get old. Like us, they may get senile or grumpy. Unfortunately, Pixel added another item to her list. Kidney failure.

Dr. Johnson says she's working with maybe half a kidney, and he has no idea how much time she has left. And this is not a disease where one can let nature take its course. Doing so would be cruel and hurtful. So every day, Wayne and I find ourselves in the gut-wrenching position of asking ourselves--and each other--is it time?

Like anyone, Pixel has good days and bad. She spends a lot of her time curled up asleep on a chenille blanket nest on our loveseat in the great room. That way she knows exactly where everyone is. She has me trained well, too. One look, and I'm headed to the kitchen to prepare her soft prescription food (not much of which gets eaten) and turn the faucet to drip so she can drink from it.

She's doing too well for us to let her go, but not well enough for her to lead a normal life. It hurts to watch her struggle, and I find myself crying at the strangest times. Maybe to some she's "just a cat", but to us, she's a living tribute to a time in our lives when everything good and important came together.

Lately I've been reminded of repeated arguments I had with the nuns and fathers in Catholic school. I used to ask them if cats went to heaven. When they told me no, I'd challenge them to the hilt. I think they were stunned when their perfect student got in their faces a bit (laughs). But in any case, I believe our animal friends DO make it to heaven. They stand a far better chance than many humans I've met! And while I find myself wondering why I repeatedly put myself through losing a pet friend, I know deep down that I'll never be able to live without having at least one in my life.